Can you overdo frugality?
It occurred to me recently when I was checking on the balance of my bank account, that since my husband and I separated a year ago and I had to go to work I have been living in a constant state of money-anxiety. But the thing is, even though I am far from rich, I DO have money in the bank, the rent is paid, there is a refrigerator full of food, and all is well. Still, I am discovering that I am stuck in that panic mode, my mind telling me that I need to count pennies, that I don’t have enough, worrying how I am going to make it. That hater, that voice we all have that tells us we aren’t good enough, or that we will fail, keeps raising its ugly head with its lies.
When he first moved out, there was good reason to worry. I hadn’t worked in three years. Wait, that’s the last thing from true. I hadn’t made any money to speak of in three years. I had worked very hard, writing a novel, short stories, essays, articles and poems. Then suddenly, boom! I had to figure out how I was going to pay the bills. But like I said, that was a year ago, and those lean days of eating tuna fish and beans are long gone, and have been for some time. I can relax. And though I will always be a frugal person, always have been, I don’t have to be a miser or be anxious.
What about you? Do you find yourself overthinking the money situation? Do you have anxiety about finances as a part of your regular though pattern? If so, I hope you too will realize that when you truly look around you and take inventory, things are just fine, and all is well, and all is well, and all will be well.
